Enter entitlement here

Hereby I introduce a new category: Opinion. Enjoy.

It was only last year that I read Lord of the Flies for the first time. Not only was I shocked by so much death, it made me wonder why I have never heard the obvious mentioned.

Sure, we covered it in high school in English class, I remember the conch and the spectacles and the rivalry, but it was only now that I read the whole thing.

And the obvious? There are no girls among those boys.

No girl would ever allow things to escalate that way.

If mothers were asked, no boy would ever go to war.

Men need women to call them out on their bullshit.

I’m the last person to divide humanity into gender boxes. In Italy, in many bars and restaurants, especially old and tiny ones, there is only one toilet. I couldn’t care less what you are packing as long as it’s not a gun. I’m happiest when I find myself enjoying a book, or a blog, not knowing the gender of the author.

But I do care about the survival of the species, and the world is rapidly and significantly losing the feminine principle (let’s call it that, I have a feeling someone already had). This manly world has gone on long enough.

I read yesterday about horses, specifically about “breaking a horse” as Maria Jansson writes is being done by cowboys for ages. My blood boiled a little because I was reminded of how dogs are broken. How children are broken. How girls are “taught a lesson”. How boys are sent to war. How some think this is the only way, the proper way. I love so much her reaction and her gentle way of spurring the horse’s own curiosity instead.

Mind you, I cannot understand either extreme: women who wish to strike out all the men, men who want to suppress all the women. You cannot just disregard one half of humanity! It’s like… like… pretending all those Americans who support Trump will just go away even if he is not elected.

I’m reminded of instances where women are praised for “playing like a man”, instead of simply for playing well. (This happened to me often during my decade of card tournaments). When women climb corporate (corporal too?) ladder, they tend to be more ruthless than men, they outman men. That’s why the Slovenian anthropologist, famous for her sharp tongue, said (paraphrased) that having more women as CEOs of companies is not good either for economy or these companies.

Once they gave an advanced mixed group of young pupils a difficult maths test with the idea of comparing results by gender (sorry, no source, I read about this long ago and it stuck). They were warned in advance of its difficulty. Boys did much better, it turned out. They were eager to complete the test in due time by solving as many tasks correctly as in their power, and dived into it hungrily.

Whereas girls… girls had a look at the questions, rolled their eyes a little, and thought on the inside: “But I know these!”

Can we please use this non-competing energy in a good way? Start to cooperate, listen to each other, do what each of us is good for and stop pretending we are all good for everything equally?  Can we please all make it?

Here, have as many shells as necessary to hear all the voices. This was mine.

Location: Shell cemetery, between Ankaran and Port of Koper, Slovenia. End of December, 2015.

Photo: a © signature mmm production

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34 Comments Add yours

  1. Stunning photos, especially the running gag (i. e. your dog)! I’ve never been to Slovenia and normally don’t like visiting countries without having at least a smattering of the language. But I suppose I’d get by with Italian? (I consider speaking English everywhere is just cheating… :-)) Is there still an Italian speaking minority?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Christiane! (Did you read it as well? Just curious. :D) Well, Slovenians are proud about their knowledge of languages so that shouldn’t be a problem. It’s very regional: the coast it’s officially bilingual and Italian is spoken by a grand majority. In the north the majority speaks German. But everywhere English is a good choice. We start learning it in school at age 12 and (some) never stop. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Of course I did – I studied English literature, didn’t I? I saw the old black and white film first and also saw the author once before he was awarded the Nobel Prize. Thanks for the info. When I’m abroad, I don’t want to speak German (only in Switzerland or Austria). 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hehe, I meant if you read my post. It’s kind of long. And people tend to dodge opinions. 🙂 I studied English literature too (translation division), for 4+ years, but stopped before the thesis for lack of motivation. Still, the Flies escaped me till now.

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      3. Well, I’m not people. I read long texts. I noticed a lot of readers can’t be bothered to answer my questions in my blog, they just click “Like” in the WP Reader, hoping to get other bloggers’ likes in return.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. Excellent, I’m not people either. 🙂 It’s just that your first comment was only about the photos, and if one just posts an opinion piece then one is curious about the opinion of others. I guess. Not necessarily. Nah, I just had to get it out. In any case, I never like something just in order to get likes back (people do it in Reader, really?), but I’ve been guilty of skipping or flying through longish texts that are of no particular interest to me. I’m glad you’ve read it.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I’ll let you a little secret. When I discover I’m mostly not interested in what a blogger writes, I just unsubscribe. The blogs I keep subscribed to, I actually READ. On the other hand, I try to keep by entries short, not wanting to bore my subscribers. And do you know what drives me mad? Bloggers just posting a beautiful photo without at least a minimal description. What it is, where it was… If they don’t have a clue, they could ask their readers. I just get the impression they couldn’t care less.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. Well, sometimes you ask your readers and get zero answers too. It is what it is. Everybody is either doing by their best abilities or they (we) are a vast lazy unused potential. I should write about this next time.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. I meant to write “I’ll let you in on a little secret.” I hate spotting my own typos!

        Liked by 1 person

      8. Me too, I think I’ve fixed two of mine in the course of our conversation. 😀 Always welcome back.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Judith says:

    I look forward to more posts in this category.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh, Judith, this is really good to hear. Thank you! 🙂 It tends to spill over this way only when I really feel passionately about something. We shall see.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. There was a piece on exactly this subject on BBC Radio 4’s Open Book this week or last (i forget) about Lord of the Flies and gender. If you’re cunning – which I’m sure you are – you can find it on the BBC iplayer or somesuch thingy. Just in case you’re interested…..great post by the way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Nick. Wow, imagine! If I’d first heard that piece, I’m almost certain I wouldn’t have written a thing about it, as per usual. I’ll see if I can track it down.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s not the same as you post at all – just covered a similar thing – would it be a set text in English school if it was all girls for example? It was interesting discussion – I was driving at the time and missed the end because I arrived at my meeting…..so you post will make me track it down as well now. Thanks!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahha. With all girls we’d definitely lack drama, they’d be sitting down making crowns from flowers all the time. But enough of this, it’s never black and white, the point is we need all the colours, all the flowers and all the shells. Thank you for alerting me to this, and do share if you find it.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Norm 2.0 says:

    A good start for the new blog.
    Oh this whole topic is a big soupy mess with, I’m afraid to say, it no easy solutions. I agree with everything you say, except perhaps the part about women in corporate situations. Each individual has their own baggage, their own story, and their own reasons for acting/reacting the way they do. Does gender play a role in influencing this? Absolutely. But I think anyone has the capacity to be an a**hole or a sweet soul, it has more to do with character, open-mindedness, and empathy, rather than gender.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Norm. Of course I agree with your last sentence most fondly. I think what I’m most upset with is the perpetuation of old patterns that have clearly brought us where we are. I don’t like dividing people on the basis of gender. But it’s like with the horoscope – most of it is total bollocks, until you start seeing similarities where there should be none. (Said with a grin. I still think it’s bollocks.)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Norm 2.0 says:

        Spoken like a true….hmmm, Taurus? No wait! Gemini? Libra perhaps… 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahhah, you got it from the first. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  5. joey says:

    I like this. It’s an over-simplification, of course, but I find it true to my own perspective. I’m not sure ‘the killer instinct’ is a necessary drive on the planet, whether it’s inherent in men or developed in women. This is very difficult when a pacifist marries a warrior — but then, I wonder, balance? Some mothers do want war, I’ve heard them say so, quite passionately. As to whether they want it for their sons, now that matter, I am less certain of.
    I recently attended a ceremony for adolescents where after the principal spoke about the achievements of the young men, the first thing out of her mouth was how the girls had blossomed. I choked a bit. Myself, Sassy, her friends and all the women around us expressed the same collective disgust. Blossoming is not an achievement, what an archaic thing to speak about in this day and age. Ick.
    Anyway, I think (per your comments with Norm) that astrology is relatively important, but I don’t mind those who think it’s bollocks.
    My mind and my bathroom are OPEN 🙂 lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Joey. Yes, I tend to oversimplify because the gist of it is always simple. When a pacifist gets together with a bestia (yes, I’ve got two of them), she turns into a warrior fighting for her viewpoint. Doing this, adamancy travels well and often lands. Especially when results are in. Here’s to open and free minds and bathrooms. 😀 Always welcome!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I liked the post, you write so well, and you make your points. I look forward to more. And I liked the shells and their voices.

    Like

    1. Thank you, Claudia. For some reason this comment went into spam. 😦 Luckily I have it set so that it doesn’t get deleted automatically and can check. Would hate to lose your words. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you. I noticed when I submitted the comment it seemed to hesitate. A mystery of the Internet!

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I really enjoyed this post, so happy to inspire a thought process like yours! I’m re-reading a very interesting book right now, Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman. The math test referred to, and many other tests, most, only measure IQ, when EQ (Emotional Intelligence) often are the factor that matters the most for ones wellbeing. The first time I read the book was in university, while getting my teacher’s degree. So much happened since then, so I thought it would be interesting to read the book again. It is! For many years I’ve been fighting a “need” to explain myself, not excuse, but explain (like why I would spend a lot of time preparing a horse, instead of just make it do things.) I feel that this is because how society always valued IQ, over EQ. I am hoping that this is changing. EQ is something we can improve all of our life’s, while IQ to some degree is genetic. It’s a very interesting book, I think you would like it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Maria. I actually gifted a friend this book a while ago without having read it myself! I guess I hoped he would lend it to me to read it. 🙂 But I’ve heard of the concept and will read it when occasion arises. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Siw! That’s so cool! You should read it. (It’s awesome that you gave it to a guy!)

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Great piece. You nailed it. Many of the phrases that put down women are subtle and disguised as s compliment. Studies show girls start to lose interest in STEM subjects around age 11-12 not because they aren’t smart but because of societal pressures to focus on other things. I am on a board of a STEM project geared to encourage women to go into STEM fields but it important to not divide or discourage by gender for any subject.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I’m glad you have read it and agree. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Maggie C says:

    The math test reminds me of my daughter. Her second grade teacher asked me to intervene, because my daughter’s desk was so messy and she wasn’t turning in any of her homework. I went to the classroom to help my daughter sort through her desk. The “mess” was actually all the homework assignments, completed and correct. I asked my daughter why she hadn’t turned them in. She said since she had completed them, she saw no need to hand them to the teacher. My daughter will graduate this August with her second masters degree, on her way to a PsyD. Good thing we cleared up the “messy desk” stumbling block. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hehe, I love her response, Maggie. The need to hand anything over is truly questionable. I’ve always called my mess “creative”.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Kerry S. says:

    I’ve not visited you for a while. I’m sorry about that. (I haven’t visited ANY blogs other than my own for a while.) Yours is one of my favourites. It’s years since I read Lord of the Flies but conch shells will, of course, forever remind me of it. Weird little book. Not exactly enjoyable. And certainly bereft of the feminine! Give your lovely doggy a girly cuddle from me. Peace and love etc… xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I’m glad to see you. Please note that this is my new blog, if you haven’t yet clicked follow, the old one was full. Bestia is right here, dreaming already for the night, and me too soon. Always welcome!

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